It’s hard

I could paint a perfect picture
of this ceiling I’ve been staring at
for hours. The lines, the imperfections,
the spider building a web in the corner.
Even the spider is building something and I’m
just stuck here with my empty head and
hollow heart. 

It’s hard to have a vision for the future
when you don’t know where your present is headed.
It’s hard to fade in your early years, watching
your dreams getting further away with every step you
take thinking you’re making them reality. 

From one crisis to the next, from one cigarette
to a whole pack, from one glass to a bottle,
from one day to another. Baby steps turning into
abrupt halts. Youth turning into ashes. 

I want to take my little black dress for a night out.
I want to move to the sound of music.
I want to see those far away cities, go from one
plane to the next destination. I want to touch the
ocean and see the earth from above. I want to
feel the sand underneath my feet while sipping a
cocktail on a sunny beach but I’m here getting familiar
with the ceiling.  

The earthquake beating in my chest
is an endless hallway and behind each door
is a story to be told with an unhappy ending.
Yes, an earthquake in my chest, because my heart
is miles away from me. I sold it for a ruined
fantasy but at least I gave it away. Thought it
would be easier. 

It’s hard to put my feet on the ground each day
knowing they will take me on a quest of
imposed society rules while my soul is craving
something real, something alive, something different. 

That thing, that happiness everyone talk about – where
is it hiding. How many miles, how many doors, how many
breakdowns and sleepless night away is it. It’s hard to be
young and so old. Full of energy and so tired. So alive and so dead.  

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Moana

90% of the people who know me are familiar with the fact that I love to watch cartoons whether it’s Looney Tunes, Sponge Bob or some Disney cartoon. By the way, I’m 21, I stopped living with my family when I was 19, I am a student and have a job. F*ck adulthood, let’s talk about my favorite Disney Movie of all times. 

Moana is the queen, better said the chief’s daughter and she is an ultimate girlboss. So, she grew up on an island and it was forbidden to go across the reef. Moana had a strong desire to sail and it was actually in her blood because her people were voyagers in the past. The stopped voyaging because Demigod Maui stole the heart of Te Fiti to give power of creation to the people and because of his act Te Ka was poisoning the islands.  

Here’s also a lesson about how you should treat women. If you are nice to us we will be this cute. 

But if you steal our heart and run away with it we’ll turn into this and break your hook, if you know what I’m talking about… (people who watched the movie know what I’m actually talking about, no hidden meaning) 

The ocean chose Moana to sail across the sea and get Maui to restore the heart of Te Fiti.  That girl just got on a boat, taught herself how to sail, found Maui and you can see the rest in the movie.  I like Moana’s character because she is a boss, relentless, sticks to what she knows, looks fear in the eyes and she just takes care of bussiness. That’s my kind of girl and I think this is a very #girlboss type of movie and that’s why  I like it. It’s also funny and the soundtrack is entertaining.  

I know it’s been a year since the movie hit the theatres but I just love it and felt like sharing it with you.  

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