A date with pain

This date makes me feel Sunday rainy
morning – lay under the blankets alone
kind of sad. Where you know everything is
alright but you feel a void pulsating in your
body and you still feel the only touch you want
covering your skin in the sweetest sin.  

My legs still tremble at the thought of him
as I bit my lip not to pronounce his name.
There’s a part of my closet I never open because
I still have his stuff there and I know that part
holds the dearest smell which could pull me back
to the past and captivate me there. 

I really hate this date. I still hear the car tires,
the crowd of the station, remember the bus platform
where the ride to separation took you away
from me. I really hate this date. It’s like a constant
reminder of what it feels like to lose what you love. 

You found me with my flaws and fears and weaknesses.
You took them all away and where the only weakness left
even though life snatched you out of my reach. I don’t know
if we should have tried or was this the best thing for us. I
don’t know will this darkness stop creeping up from the inside. 

I don’t know a lot but I do know I still hate this date. It’s
like an hourglass still counting the days I need to forget you.
It’s a violent reminder that I don’t have you. It’s everything
I can’t live with and more. This date was the date my body last felt
alive and my soul thought there was still a chance.  

I hate this date because it brings out the worst in me. Makes me
hide in my own loneliness thinking why was I cursed to fall in the
depths of those brown eyes, why was I cursed to hate this date and the
miles which held us apart.  

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Thursday

This week was all about catching up with work on time. Every students says he will do his tasks on time and this year I’m actually trying to do it and it’s… Well boring as hell.  

I had to spend 5 hours I the office for students to enroll in the new semester and it was exhausting but I made it through. Today I only had two lectures and I had a coffee and went on to have pizza with my birthday girl Gabrijela. We strolled around town for a while and then I went back home. 

Today’s outfit is pretty casual. I love this jacket which I got at a sort of a vintage shop. I think it has a great print so I bought it and also it was very cheap. I paired it with my new ankle boots, a simple black skirt and jeans shirt.  

This is pretty much it from me for today. Hope you are all having a wonderful week. Kisses!
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Lectures started

My head hurts so bad I can barely look at my screen. The weather is changing in Zadar and it’s causing me headaches. I hope it goes away fast because I can’t drink any more pills. Yes that’s right, I’m one of those people who drink a pill for pretty much everything. 

Since I’ve had that horrible headache the whole day my appetite wasn’t very big but I still had to eat something. This is my omelet tortilla. I basically put some olive oil into the pan, add half of a chopped up onion and some mushrooms and eggs to make an omelet. I always use something green in my tortilla, today it was lamb’s lettuce and I sliced a tomato on the side. It didn’t fit into the tortilla haha 

 

My first lecture was today. It was just great. Absolutely amazing. NOT! I love the professor teaching the subject but there will just be so much work this semester. It’s kind of freaking me out already. I went for a casual it-seems-like-I’m-trying look. In my estimation, I will be wearing sweatpants to lectures by the end of the week.  

Shirt H&M / Pants Espirit / Shoes Pull&Bear

This is it from me for today. Hope your day was wonderful and that you are happy! Don’t forget to stalk me on Instagram, like me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter.
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Take-it-easy evening

So my lectures at the university start tomorrow…
MY GOOOOOOOOOOD

I’m fine but also having minor panic attacks. I did work my ass off this summer and dreamed about coming back to Zadar but now that I’m here realizing this is my third year and how much things I have to get done this year it’s honestly freaking the life out of me.

Also my lectures schedule is awful. On Wednesdays I’m at the university from 8 AM to 8PM with one two hour break but on Mondays I don’t have lectures until noon so that makes me feel a bit better about that horrible schedule.

I took the evening to myself and considering the work I will be doing this year these types of evenings will be a must do for my mental health.  I lit up my Mountain Berry  Blossom scented candle,  had a warm shower, cleaned my face, put a face mask on, ate chocolate, scrolled through Instagram and started watching The Handmaid’s Tale. It’s been my desire to watch it for a very long time and what better time to start than the day before my lectures begin. #responsible.

Also I recently had some serious problems with my skin so I’ve been looking for some products to help me. My skin is very sensitive to pretty much everything. The first products I’ve been buying are from Bioderma and Biobaza. It’s a bit early to give any reviews but as soon as I have something interesting it will be on the blog.

So this is it from me for this post. Good luck to everyone going to hell like me tomorrow. May the odds be ever in your favor! Don’t forget to stalk me on Instagram, like me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter.
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Where did I disappear?

It has been a century since I posted anything and there is a good explanation for it. I’ve been (pardon my French) working my ass off this whole summer and I’ve literally opened my laptop twice. I haven’t even been active on my Instagram account. My job was of a receptionist at a Hotel in Poreč but later on I also became a waitress and sort of a bartender. It’s a really long story but I honestly had no time to post anything. Here are some of my work outfits for you guys.  

 

When I finished my job I came home to my mommy in Zabok and spent some quality family time with her and my baby nephew. Currently I’m back in Zadar where I start my third year at the university. I just have to brag about the cuteness of my baby nephew.  

 

Yesterday I spent the morning with my mom in Zadar. This was the first time I had the chance to go around town with her any just chill. She was with me for three days and she just cleaned and cooked in my apartment. She barely let me take her out to show her around town. My mommy is kind of overly attached and addicted to having everything around her clean and she is also like a grandmother because she can’t stand to see me not eating for a minute. You know how mothers are hahaha 

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