Poems

It’s been a long time

It’s been a long time since I’ve
been okay. My happiness probably ended
the day I’ve picked up the pen and started
seeing the world through what I am.

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt
alright. I’ve started ending the silence with
screaming, I started filling my space with memories
in order not to drown in the loneliness within.

It’s been a long time since I slept peacefully
at night. To be honest, can’t remember it ever
happened in my life. I grabbed the fear and held it
safely in my hand but it got bigger and exploded right to my face.

It’s been a long time since I’ve made a fearless step.
The doubts are clouding my mind and I feel like
everything’s a mistake. Unfortunately I didn’t know in
advance that little scared girl who walk alone get lost in the end.

It’s been a long time since I’ve let myself have a breakdown.
Sometimes you just need to let the river flow from
your eyes to wash away the gray shades from your heart.
Sometimes you need to give up the fight so you could gather
an ounce of strength to put your demons to bed.

It’s been a long time since I’ve lived a life worth living.

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